Creepy Crawford's Christmas List

 Creepy Crawford's Christmas List

   Krampus - Santa is an ancient spirit of Christmas. He is, as of 2021, 1,750 years old and yet ... there is a spirit even older than he. While Saint Nicholas comes to give at Christmas, gifts for the good and coal for the contemptuous, this darker spirit comes to take. He takes from those who curse Christmas and spit in the face of all that is the spirit of the holidays. Along with him come his own dire elves of doom and a sack full of mysterious, monstrous, malignant creatures. And this one night, when a young boy losses his spirit of Christmas amongst the chaos of family friction, he is visited by this omnipresent spirit known as . . . KRAMPUS!!!

Black Christmas (1974) - This is probably THE most important movie on this list. Predating Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Nightmare On Elm Street, this is considered the first modern day slasher film. The director, Bob Clark, formed the blue print for every future slasher film of the 80s, 90s, and today. As the girls of a college sorority settle in for a Christmas night they begin receiving heckling phone calls until it is discovered that the voice on the phone is attached to the man who used to live in that very house ... and JUST escaped his mental institution! With a special twist in stored this Creepy Christmas Classic is a must see.

Black Christmas (2006) - With a premise right along side of the original we see a small group of girls bundling up for Christmas night together as the rest of their sisters have gone home for the holidays. We again see old Billy coming home for the holidays to wreak havoc on the all those within his house! This is one of the BEST remakes I've seen and one of my favorite holiday treats, hands DOWN! The lighting is so buoyant and Christmas like and just so colorful that it makes you feel warm and upbeat . . . until heads are punctured and blood is splattered. What really draws me in is the storyline. The writer and director do a great job in telling the backstory of the antagonist, mixing it in with the current timeline of the sorority sisters, and setting up a bloody head to head collision between the two!

Silent Night, Deadly Night - An 80s Christmas slasher classic, this film follows the blue print and style of its holiday predecessor Black Christmas (seen above). Here we see citizens of a sleepy little town going missing. We come to find out that little Billy (apparently if your name is Billy you're a Christmas killer) is home from an orphanage after his parents were killed by a psycho Santa in his childhood. If that wasn't enough he had the words of his grandpa claiming that that was just common for Kringle to do to those bad little boys and girls of the world. 

Silent Night - Another great remake of a slasher classic, we have Silent Night ... where Santa is all about the "sleighing". The costume in this remake is MUCH more sinister and the death scenes are so much more satisfying. While the original has great classic kills, the remake has some of the most disturbing kills of any holiday horror movie. And the killer himself is one of the most bold, attacking in broad daylight and going after small groups even. Both of which are seldom seen in slasher films.

Rare Exports - A foreign flavor that leaves a bloody taste in your mouth, here we have the origins of a company that deals in . . . rare exports. Taken place in Finland, the birthplace of Santa himself, we follow the events of a young boy and his family of hunters when they come across a mysterious and ominous old man. He doesn't speak, he doesn't feel pain, and he has only a craving for ginger or blood. Is he really a man, or is he something else . . . and what is his end game. Without spoiling anything I will just say, if you enjoyed Krampus and want a little more of that Christmas creepiness then definitely check this movie out!

Anna and the Apocalypse - A film that some have said is a mix between Shawn of the Dead and High School Musical ... or Glee .... this film isn't something you should take serious as it is full of Zombies, a crazy teacher, and teens breaking into song while avoiding being eaten alive. If you're looking for high thrills then this isn't the film for you, but if you just enjoy a good zombie decapitation and some innovative new zombie slayings then throw it on and have some fun!

Gremlins - The Joe Dante classic, we see the cutest little creatures in cinema history and what happens when they eat a little too much or get a little wet. Filled with famous lines, iconic creatures, and all the holiday magic and mayhem that only Dante can create. There is a beauty in the atmosphere of this film mixed with the dark nature of the Gremlin menace. 

Jack Frost - This is a 90s cult classic and while it panders towards those who enjoy a slice of creepiness covered in a mound of cheese, it actually doesn't go off the rails and is extremely innovative in the ways that a psychotic snowman may be able to kill you. Now the hardest sell here is obviously "how does a snowman come to life in the first place". All I can say is it has to do with experimental chemicals, an escaped convict, and some wrong place, wrong time. What's great is they give a very broad, yet cinematically believable, cause behind it but they don't harper on it and just quickly move on to the fun part . . . the chilling killing! The film does have a few classic kills that even bolster some iconic scenes when one thinks of holiday horror. It may be B-rated, but it is AAA rated!

Better Watch Out - While this can be considered a dark comedy, I personally believe that psychos at Christmas meet the requirements for Horror. This film is a balance between Home Alone and The Good Son . . . without Macaulay Culkin though. It has a great ending and throughout the film there is constant tension between every character. 

The Lodge - This film is a slooooooooooooooow burn, film fans. If you don't mind a slow burn then this is for you. If you enjoy dreamscape like sequences then this is for you. The ending is extremely satisfying and worth the crawling crisp of the slow burn. You may be like me and find yourself conflicted between "you get what you deserve" and some pity. It was a one time watch for me as I'm not much for a slow burn but that aside it was a fun experience.

I Trapped The Devil - For you film fans that have enjoyed The Twilight Zone growing up then the plot may sound familiar. And if you're a Twilight aficionado then the title alone lets you know which episode the film is based off of and how the story will go . . . at least, the way you think it may go. The film has a delightful Christmas atmosphere that gets sullied and ruined by the events of the film. It's almost like watching Christmas going rotten before your eyes, all the while wondering . . . did this man truly trap the devil, or is he simply enjoying the debauchery of his own delusions?

The Saint - Not to be taken seriously, this foreign film tackles the tale of Saint Nicholas the way that we see in Rare Exports. It's a much darker version of the cherry Saint of the Christmas season but more on the B-rated side. Still, while it's not as polished as a higher ended production it still boasts a fun story with great sequences of the Saint reigning terror from the ground to the roof tops . . . literally. If you're done with Krampus, got through Rare Exports, and STILL have a hankering for the darker history of Christmas then this may just be the movie for you.

Let It Snow (2020) - While I'm not sure this can be considered strictly a Christmas film, it still has nothing but snow and a snowman. To me, that makes it Christmas like enough for this list! That being said, this is probably the most hardcore of the films on this list and exudes nothing but pain throughout. The atmosphere is so bone chilling cold that you'll want a blanket near by when you watch it. Experiencing the pain of sheering ice versus the indomitable will to keep going for survival and love is something that keeps tension high. The very end is my favorite part. You feel such a rush of pure unabolished rage and power in a simple 10 second scene that it makes a part of you that is deep down inside want to scream till your throat bleeds and then scream some more!